How to date…AKA, WTF.

In 2015, I took the plunge and downloaded Tinder.  I have since deleted and re-downloaded the app more times than I care to share.  Let’s just go with shit tons.

Generally, I live in that ambiguous, oh not-so-sweet spot of of enjoying being single, but also interested in meeting girls, errr… women.  Duh.

I would love to meet someone and find love, but opt to let it happen organically and not seek that out.  Let’s hang, get to know one another and see where it goes.  I really feel that us humans have more than one love in our life. Different loves at different times of our journeys.

So how do I do this?  Sometimes I meet people IRL, but generally rely on Tinder.  I swipe, match, chat, then meet.

Is this considered dating?  Hanging out?  It gets confusing.  Nobody wants to talk about it, until someone catches the feels and by that point it is most likely too late – make way for ghosting or the “it’s not you it’s me” chat.  I am not assigning judgement as I have acted the lead in both roles.

I have been with women who emphasize the clear distinction between “hanging out” and “dating”. Me, I think I understand.  Then I don’t again.  “Um, so you like me, want to do stuff out in public, meet your friends, not want to be with others, but we aren’t dating?”  “Got it.”  Wait. Um. Huh?  Can I have a cheat sheet please? Just keep me updated if things change, k?

To recap.  Install Tinder. Swipe. Match. Meet. Hang Out/Date/Whatever you call it. Delete Tinder.  Two weeks or so later, download it again.  Rinse.  Repeat.

I have since added a new wrinkle, the always fun and altruistic, “just focus on me” interlude; which can last for months.  This occurs when the fatigue of the above cycle kicks in and I can’t deal with putting out the effort.  Sometimes this lasts months, or until I hear the the siren call of Aphrodite once again. Or it is spring time.  Or…Either way, I get back on the bike.

Currently bike riding, and enjoying the ride. As always, happy to hear any comments or insights.

-B

Year(s) in Review

Wow.  What a year. Or six.  It’s been a while since I graced these pages with my erudite wit on all things about me.  Here’s a quick review for all my reader(s) ( “What up Einar!”).

In 2015, I stopped working and stopped being married. At the time, I was in a career that I often referred to as the “best job I ever had” and was betrothed for 10+ years.

With the dissolution of both career and marriage, I was all “I’m great, I am going with the flow, this will be good for everyone.” This is called lying to yourself.  I did some things.  I had some ideas. I traveled. I got in shape. I spent time with myself. I got a dog. It’s a cliche to call this a mid-life crisis, but I am 45 and while I wouldn’t necessarily say I was in crisis, I was certainly searching for meaning.

One of my priorities in 2017 is to share more; both in this space and on this blog.  I have to believe I am not the only person who’s life hasn’t exactly gone as planned ( planned, wtf?) and perhaps my thoughts and comments here will help others who are going through similar life changes.  I don’t have the answers, and rarely even know the questions, but if anyone out there wants to chat, connect or share, I am all ears.  Talking helps.

Annnnnndd…. Queue awkward segue to Best of 2016 list…

Anyone who knows me, knows I am all about the music.  For many reasons, 2016 was a rough year.  We said goodbye to many of our heroes, and elected a fucking clown as President.  Interestingly, it was a very good year for music.  With that spirit, I have put together the laziest playlist ever – sorry.  I just dumped all my favorite albums into one list!!

Spotify:

 

 

Porchlight Records


Hey everyone, I just wanted to get in a little self-promotion, and formally announce that I will be joining Zach Bolotin in co-running Porchlight Records. We specialize in helping bands and musicians release their art on vinyl. This June, we will be releasing Grand Hallway’s latest, “Winter Creatures”

Pre-order the vinyl LP ( purchase includes MP3 download code ) HERE!

Listen to “Fourths” a favorite of mine from the new album:

My favorite albums of 2010

Here are my favorite albums of 2010. In all cases, these are the albums I spent the most time with. Sure most of these are on other lists as well, and many of you are hip to how good the Kanye, Big Boi and Deerhunter albums are, but go ahead and spend a little time with the White Denim album. The White Denim album is hosted on their website and fans can download and contribute an amount of their choice. It is a great, great record that should not be overlooked. The No Age and Abe Vigoda albums both feature two bands transitioning from their punk roots to more of a shoegazey, layered sound. In both cases, they absolutely nailed it and have released the best records of each band’s career.

Without further adieu, here is my list. Enjoy, and have a safe and fun holiday season.

No Age : Everything in Between


No Age | Dusted

Deer Hunter : Halcyon Digest


Deer Hunter | He Would Have Laughed

Abe Vigoda : Crush


Abe Vigoda | November

Fang Island : Fang Island


Fang Island | Davey Crockett

Kanye West : My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy


Kanye West | So Appalled

Big Boi : Sir Lucious Left Foot The Son of Chico Dusty


Big Boi | Follow Us

White Denim : Last Day of Summer


White Denim | If You’re Changing

Roots Manuva Meets Wrongtom : Duppy Writer


Roots Manuva Meets Wrongtom | Lick Up Ya Foot

Broken Social Scene : Forgiveness Rock Record


Broken Social Scene | Texico Bitches

The National : High Violet


The National | Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks