How to date…AKA, WTF and FML.

In 2015, I took the plunge and downloaded Tinder.  I have since deleted and re-downloaded the app more times than I care to share.  Let’s just go with shit tons.

Generally, I live in that ambiguous, oh not-so-sweet spot of of enjoying being single, but also interested in meeting girls, errr… women.  Duh.

I would love to meet someone and find love, but opt to let it happen organically and not seek that out.  Let’s hang, get to know one another and see where it goes.  I really feel that us humans have more than one love in our life. Different loves at different times of our journeys.

So how do I do this?  Sometimes I meet people IRL, but generally rely on Tinder.  I swipe, match, chat, then meet.

Is this considered dating?  Hanging out?  It gets confusing.  Nobody wants to talk about it, until someone catches the feels and by that point it is most likely too late – make way for ghosting or the “it’s not you it’s me” chat.  I am not assigning judgement as I have acted the lead in both roles.

I have been with women who emphasize the clear distinction between “hanging out” and “dating”. Me, I think I understand.  Then I don’t again.  “Um, so you like me, want to do stuff out in public, meet your friends, not want to be with others, but we aren’t dating?”  “Got it.”  Wait. Um. Huh?  Can I have a cheat sheet please, K?

To recap.  Install Tinder. Swipe. Match. Meet. Hang Out/Date/Whatever you call it. Delete Tinder.  Two weeks or so later, download it again.  Rinse.  Repeat.

I have since added a new wrinkle, the always fun and altruistic, “just focus on me” interlude; which can last for months.  This occurs when the fatigue of the above cycle kicks in and I can’t deal with putting out the effort.  Sometimes this lasts months, or until I hear the the siren call of Aphrodite once again. Or it is spring time.  Or…Either way, I get back on the bike.

Currently bike riding, and enjoying the ride. As always, happy to hear any comments or insights.

-B

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